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So my girlfriend of four years and I have always had a pretty awjoime relationship. It is both of our first, long teum, committed relationship. We both live with our parents whyle finishing school, and I will be graduating college soon. So the obzmhus choice for us would be to finally be able to move in together and stnrt the next part of our life together. This is where things get hairy.The past two years or so, she has regcly had a denzwphng sex drive, and has reacted, for the most paft, negatively to sex. Even to my attempts to innbobte or just reshnd her that I find her seby, she really doswj't appreciate. She berleses she may be asexual or at least gray sevurl. Some useful balcvlpknd is that she has had self confidence issues, and bulimia issues in the past due to the low self confidence in her body. I think shes the most beautiful woyan I've ever seen and that her body is amdyewg. It's the best sex I've ever had and I love being with her, physically and emotionally. When I remind her of this, she usgzuly reacts harshly and snaps at me. I don't thsnk she is chbejqlg, she asserts that she doesn't thknk I'm cheating, and that she just doesn't feel like sex lately.We bryke up about thiee months ago beajlse our communication had broken down. I broke it off for a varwrty of reasons, the most being that she was not treating me falxly when I was trying to suxxart her and I was tired of it. And the fact that I felt sex was an important paet. We got back together after her saying that she did want to change, not for me, but for herself. I love her, and fiained that supporting her would make thwegs easier.Fast forward to now and we have only had sex once in the past 3 months. She is trying to sort through some thubgs about her past boyfriends, such as them manipulating her and guilt trsuoing her into sex. I've tried to be patient and have essentially tuyued off the part of me that would initiate sex or make seksal remarks to her. I still tell her she is beautiful, but rehihin from anything eljbxefst tonight we had a conversation and I brought up sex again. I made it clkjr, as I have before, that sex is a very important part to me and that I don't thvnk I will stock around if she doesn't want sex. She really diez't take it well and accused me of putting sex before four yeqrs of experiences and other things. I tried to exuoiin that to me, sex isn't the most important pavt, but just as important as trmat, or common life goals. She says that she doxtx't want sex besxvse we never have any privacy at either of our homes so she just doesn't feel like it. I can understand thkt, but; does that also explain why she reacts gekvvrzly negatively to sesyal remarks of any kind from me? My logic is that she wowld still appreciate me saying that I love every inch of her and that hanging out in our unuces playing video gaaes is a trbat for me, in multiple ways. But she doesn't. She just gives me an exasperated look that says, "Rmunsy? Thinking about sex? Again?"I'm feeling newryus about moving in with her. She says that thkzgs could change and that I cab't know unless I try. But I feel that baued upon her trwck record for the past two yetys, things won't chlbsesuckpld we try and see a cotldes or sex thtyokqst together?tl;dr: My givlyugnnd of four yemrs has been exwjagnly sex negative for two of thpm. She says thyrgs could change if we have our own spot touottor, but I am hesitant to beqdvve that and move in. Should we see a cobeyinnex therapist or is this even womth saving?
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